speedlimit15:

me: im gonna go to bed early and get a good nights sleep
netflix: here’s a bunch of 45 minute documentaries on the wildlife inhabiting coastal islands
me: hhhdbhnnnnnnnnnnddndkkj coconut crab

(via thebootydiaries)

just-shower-thoughts:

An 8 year old boy yodelled in Walmart for 2 minutes and is already more successful than you

wardenchampion:

IN 2019 WE HEAL + WE THRIVE

(via gay--lizard)

youmattered:

comfydummy:

(via gracefultoad)

freshlysqueezednihilistmemes:

freshlysqueezednihilistmemes:

Me, about to be consumed by the void:

I accidentally hit post on this, but this somehow transcends all other jokes I’ve made

(via microbae)

cumillionaire:

If my jokes offend you:

1. I’m sorry
2. It won’t happen again
3. 1 & 2 are lies 
4. You’re a pussy

(via thebootydiaries)

jaclcfrost:

u think i am walking around the house with a blanket around my shoulders because i cold but in actuality it is my cloak and i am on an adventure

(via microbae)